While all the pretty pastel Easter decorations of eggs and bunnies have been put away (or you are on the way to putting them away like me), we must not forget the true meaning of Easter isn't over because Jesus is ALIVE. He has risen and now is alive in ME and in YOU and anyone who chooses to believe and receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Because of this fact, there is a reason to celebrate Easter every day of our existence once we are saved!
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
Since He has risen, we now have His great mission
given to us by the Risen Savior Himself:
The great commission.
“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
We are left with instructions and are blessed with His Holy Spirit to do this. The veil has been torn in two, and now we have access to God because of the finished work on the cross.
What comes to mind when you think about something that could motivate you to change?
For most people, it is a story of radical transformation that inspires you to think, "I can do that too!" or "wow... I want what they have". A story about what someone was or what they went through and where they are now, and how they overcame.
If you are a believer, what is your transformation story?
Do you know that moment that changed you forever?
Who were you, and who are you now that God has come in and pulled you out from the pits of despair, out of ... let's face it... hell itself?
Have you told your story to bring God the glory?
Have you told your story to plant a seed of hope in someone else's life?
Are you on a mission with the Great Commission? With the Holy Spirit?
If you are saved and can't answer yes to these questions, please hear my heart on this... do some praying. Many times we resist the work the Lord is trying to do in us and through us, and many of us ignore Him.
2.5M views using #TestimonyTuesday, 1.6B views of #ThrowbackThursday, and 71.9 BILLION views of #transformation on TikTok. The proof is in the numbers that people like transformation stories, and that is just ONE social media outlet. People are naturally nosey and want to be all up inside someone else's business; they want to know the dirty little secrets to tell Sally down the street. They love to hear motivating speeches and life-changing stories. But what if we used those stories of transformation for kingdom purposes instead? By telling our God-given testimonies, how could we prove that Easter isn't over and Jesus is alive IN us?
I want to try to do that today, the short-ish and not-so-sweet-ish version of my "Jesus saved my life and saved me from myself story." A juicy little piece of my rescue story. I won't start at the beginning of my first memory at 3 when my scars of hurt began. But let's jump ahead to when I was 33, when He rescued me and what He rescued me from.
It was the beginning of 2020, and the rise of Covid was among us. I have always been gifted with a "nosey" attitude and the ability to question things... anything.
What is going on?
Why is this going on?
What is going on in the background?
I always want to know the what and the why behind it. I started digging into Covid and went down a pretty deep rabbit hole. I was obsessed with what was going on and everything behind the scenes. I was a borderline conspiracy theorist, and I am sure if you ask the people around me, they would tell you I was a full-out one. But God used this burning desire to know what was going on and why to bring me to Him.
While in quarantine and in a toilet paper shortage, for whatever reason, I felt this nudge to start reading my Bible. I have always been a believer in God. My dad pastored for the Church he and my Grandpa began together for as long as I can remember. So it was always instilled in my heart. My Grandma was your typical sweet ol' lady who prayed and cried out to God for her children (and grandchildren to be saved). She played the organ at the tiny little Church on the Hill in Colfax. I never followed Jesus myself. Sure, I posted Bible verses and knew most of the coffee cup verses, but I don't believe I was saved, and I sure didn't know what those verses sincerely meant. I was your typical "Chr-easter"... those who go to Church on Christmas and Easter.
I had no idea it wasn't just about attending Church when I felt like it and learning a few verses here and there. I had no idea there was an open invitation to be in a relationship with Jesus Himself! I didn't know the relationship took work, just like every other relationship you will build. I always just assumed when I needed Him, He would be there on the nights I would cry out to Him. And He was. But it was so much more than that; God wanted to reveal to me there was much more to this believing thing. God laid it on my heart to stop searching for what was happening worldwide and dig into His Truth in His Word. So I did.
Three months into reading the Bible and soaking it all up, getting my hands onto anything and everything I could to dig deeper, God laid something BIG on my heart to do as my first step of radical obedience to Him. God was already starting to reveal the current sin in my life: drinking, smoking, swearing, anger, bitterness, resentment, pride, vanity, idols, and so much more. He wanted me to repent of these things and turn to Him and the characteristics He wanted to instill in me. I resisted on some of these for a while... still am with some. But there is one I didn't mention... He called me to ask for forgiveness in my life from someone else. Not just Him, I was forgiven by God. It was time for someone else to give me grace and forgiveness or leave me.
Let's rewind just a little bit. It was 2014, 1 year after my 3rd and final child was born, and my self-esteem was at an all-time low. I could 't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I was disgusted with how I let my body go, and it was time for the extra baby weight to go. I had tried every fad pill and gimmick out there to help me lose the baby weight, and no quick fix worked. One day a light bulb went off in my head, and I knew I would have to make a change if I wanted to see a change. Imagine that?! So I changed my habits. I began to exercise, eat healthily, and do everything needed to see a difference. And, low and behold, it worked! The hard work and dedication worked! Who would have thunk?
While this sounds amazing and healthy, it became unhealthy years later. I quickly became a fitness fanatic; it became an obsession and an idol in my life. It became all I cared about. I started powerlifting competitively, and it became everything to me. Not my growing children, not my marriage. Me. I was not a very happy person. I was drinking on the weekends to disguise my actual pain, drowning my emotions down with every sip, and not dealing with the trauma I had faced in my life. Don't worry; a good counselor is helping me sort things through. I held onto bitterness and unforgiveness. I blamed my actions on everything else but my reaction to the events in my life. I had a less-than-picture-perfect childhood, and I blamed everything on that. I used my hurts, pains, fears, feelings of abandonment, scars, and anger as an excuse. In my mind, it worked.
You know the saying "I'm sorry for what I said when I was hangry"? That was me to a T. I would get so mad at my kids if they took a bite of my food because "those are MY macros." I would get so irritated when anything came in my way of spending 2 hours 3-4 times a week in the gym. It was "my way of the highway." I was a very selfish person. Do you want to get ice cream as a family? Nope, not happening. Too close to competition. Can we go to do this on a Saturday as a family? Not till I get my 3-hour workout done. Then during the weekends, it was game on and alcohol down on repeat. Church on a Sunday? Yeah, that is my only day to sleep in and nurse a hangover. Not happening.
I am not saying discipline in your physical health is a bad thing. But when you take it to the extreme, as I did, it affects everyone around you, and that is when it becomes destructive.
I started to gain a sense of false self-confidence. I have always been an attention seeker for as long as I can remember, another thing God pruned out of me quickly. I began to get attention; I used the emotional abandonment I had faced as a little girl as an excuse. I was searching to fill this gaping hole in my heart that I soon would find out could only be filled with Jesus' love and acceptance. I had a false idea of what love looked like due to a previous relationship, and I was searching for a hole in my heart to be filled. And I was searching in all the wrong places. Places that separated me from God for the unrepentant & current sins I was living in. I didn't realize this until Jesus saved me, and HE was the ONLY one who could fill that hole.
The more provocative picture I could post, the more the likes went up. The more my DM would start to flood in with guys with the words to sway and sweep a desperate woman off her feet and away from God and her family. I was secretly and deeply hurt while I was hurting those around me. This was my outlet. Fitness and attention had become my world. This lifestyle wouldn't let me down as long as I was in control.
And I was... until I wasn't.
The funny thing about that, I was never in control.
The likes, comments, and DMs turned into meet-ups and hookups. This was the secret sin-filled life that I needed to ask my husband's forgiveness and grace for. I couldn't see it when it was happening, but between the end of 2019 and the start of 2020, God was doing some MAJOR pruning in my life. The desire to do more powerlifting competitions began to diminish. I had previously torn my meniscus and couldn't overcome the fear of ripping it again. I was getting sick and tired of... I am just going to say it... my crap. The hours in the gym, the constant weighing of my food, the anger, and selfishness, the secret affairs I was having. The desire for other men had been stripped away from me (MONTHS before this timeframe), and the love for my husband grew deeper. I stopped working out so much and stopped caring about what I was eating. God was pruning friends out that I thought would be in my life forever. God was on the move before He revealed Himself to me, yet later I would finally be able to see and piece the puzzle together. It was God all along.
Then the day came when my first BIG step toward obedience would come into play. Listening to what God called me to do was NOT what I wanted to do. Most of the time, when He calls us to do something we don't want to, we resist and push back in refusal. I had felt the nudge to confess to my husband about the secret life I had once lived. I knew it was done and over, and I wouldn't go back to that life, but I knew God already forgave me, and now it was time for my husband to forgive... or leave me. Whenever I think about this part of my testimony, I get overwhelmed with emotions because of the grace given to me; I get all giddy like a schoolgirl because of how good God is. I can't help but shout it out and give ALL the glory to Him. Call me a Jesus freak, and I will wear that title proudly.
God was already in the process of changing my character. God was already getting rid of idols in my life, pruning them left and right and in radical ways I still can't comprehend. He was changing my heart's desires. He gave me a new heart that was on fire for Him and only Him. I was so on fire for the Lord that I didn't understand how others around me weren't catching fire with me. It was frustrating and still is, but I am learning this thing called "God's timing, not mine." Have I mentioned before how impatient of a person I can be?
I woke up one day, and God pressed SO hard on my heart to confess that I finally said ok, God, you win! I will do it! If you have ever had God lay something on your heart so firmly that you must comply to get the weight off your chest, then you will understand what I am talking about. It can't be said how it feels when this happens unless you have experienced it yourself. The Holy Spirit can be extremely powerful sometimes. But it's so awesome!!
So I wrote a note to my husband, confessing the sin and apologizing left and right for what I had done. I have always been better with written vs. spoken words. Tears filled the pages with sorrow, regret, and remorse for how badly I had treated someone I claimed to love. I truly loved him but wasn't good at it in previous years.
At this point, I was working from home due to quarantine and lockdown, but my husband was still working outside the home. The goal was to give him the letter of confession when he got home from work. I was expecting to be a single mom after this, and I had a very good-paying job, so I knew I would be ok financially. But, little did I know God had big life-changing plans that day I hadn't seen coming. 15 mins before my husband was expected to be home from work, I got a call from my boss telling me I had to go into the office to talk to HR. She was warning me they were firing me. Well, there goes that "financially ok" thought.
That is when I started to "fight" with God about giving my husband the letter. I downright refused to do it. But the entire time I was blubbering to my husband about my lost job, God whispered in my ear, "just rip off the bandaid." He wouldn't let it go. It was an unbearable heaviness in my heart, and I couldn't ignore it. He is persistent like that. So as my husband was processing the whole "wife lost her job thing," I threw the letter at him, with tears running down my face, and told him, "Well, I already lost my job today; I might as well lose my husband too."
I ran upstairs, sat on my chair, covered my face with my blanket, and cried. I knew what I deserved. I deserved my husband to leave me. To kick me out of the home we had created, so he could start a new life with someone by his side that wouldn't hurt him. He had warned me before that he would leave me if it happened again.
Minutes passed by like hours as I sat there, not knowing the fate of my future but at the same time being comforted by God. He was now whispering in my ear, "everything is going to be ok." I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what His ok meant, but I trusted Him.
I have no idea how much time passed, crying and praying my heart out. But my husband finally came upstairs, sat on the couch, asked questions, and poured God's grace on me. This was when I knew God was moving some significant mountains in my life. In the letter, I also confessed how God had been moving in my life and how I was finally pursuing a relationship with Him. I sit here today, three years later, knowing that without a doubt, if my husband hadn't already begun to see the evidence of God in my life, this would be an entirely different testimony. I not only received God's forgiveness and grace, but I also received my husband's that day as well, BECAUSE OF GOD.
God doesn't just save, He transforms.
"The Holy Spirit never enters a man and then lets Him live like the world. You can be sure of that" -A.W. Tozer, a man of God.
I look back over my life and the journey I have been on, and there is no way that I can deny He exists. He has saved me so many times from some pretty gnarly experiences that started at a very young age. From who I was with a heart's desire to please myself to the new and renewed heart He has given me to live for Him. There is no doubt in my mind He exists. Of course, I am not perfect, and yes, I still have seasons and moments of a smidge of doubt, but when that happens, it is because I am taking my focus off of Him and back onto myself. I am learning and a work in progress.
'This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! ' 2 Corinthians 5:17
I am a NEW person, improved daily by God. Who am I not to tell of His rescue story?
I am FAR from perfect. I am NOT a perfect Christian. Perfection is only found in One... Jesus. I have a renewed heart that is on fire for the Lord through the work of the Holy Spirit. He isn't done working on me. There is still a lot of refining and pruning to do, but that is just how it works. You get saved. You surrender your life to Christ, and He works alongside you to redeem, renew, and restore you into who HE has created you to be according to His Word. This takes cooperation on our part. To make you less like yourself and more like Christ. Some never get past the saved part, which breaks my heart. Some never cultivate and work on the most significant relationship you will ever have in your entire life. Many think it's just about believing but forget there is the receiving part. They forget about the mission.
We were never created ONLY to believe and have faith. We were created for more, for a purpose. We were meant to put that faith into action and allow the Holy Spirit to redeem, renew, and restore us to Christ. It is a choice to let Him in and allow Him to change your life radically. But many resist what comes after the "I believe." Which I get because I did for MANY years. So far, I have had more years of rebellion than years of walking with the Lord.
I don't share this story to condemn or disgrace myself (or my husband) but to bring glory to God and hope that others see this and know: no one is ever too far gone to be redeemed by God. There is hope for the hurting; there is hope for the affairs. I am living proof that true transformation can only come from Him, and my rescue story proves God can radically change and transform lives.
In my story, He is the only explanation I can give to those who ask me, "what has changed in me." God. God is the change in me. I didn't do this on my own, I wanted to run, but the fire inside me was already lit. It was too late to turn back, and I am thankful for that!
While I don't always get it right, my heart is to try. I have failed at being a follower of Jesus a few times since I was saved, but God doesn't say: "This is the last time I will pick up your mess." Instead, He says:
"Your mess—my message. Your test—my testimony. Your story—My glory."
Easter isn't over because Jesus is alive in those who choose to believe and receive the mission of His Great Commission. Go and make disciples; go and tell your story.
That's exactly what His disciples did after they were told to do so by the resurrected Jesus. It is how the fire stays burning; these kinds of stories keep people going and saying YES, GOD! And remember:
Relationship > Religion
Nothing will ever be able to separate us from God's love (Romans 8:38) But know this: He loves you too much to let you remain the same and live your sin-filled life. Scripture makes this very clear. Read it. Let it change your life, one Word at a time, and NEVER think, "that person is too far gone to be saved." That person doesn't exist. Never think, "I have messed up far too much to be forgiven." My husband is a man of God and has proved it many times. This is just another example. Seeing how God is transforming our lives and marriage has been amazing. All for the better. All for the Glory of God.
'Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. ' Matthew 18:21-22
' For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. ' Matthew 6:14-15
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2
Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Romans 6:1-2
Let me make this crystal clear: we are NOT saved by anything we do. We are saved by faith alone, through Christ alone. We do NOT earn our salvation. We can't buy our salvation. But He does want more for you. Don't you want the frosting on the cake? I know I do. I want them both, so I have said Yes to Jesus. Is it always easy? A piece of cake? No. That's a topic for another time.
'God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ' Ephesians 2:8-10
Jesus radically saved you on the cross. Can you be radically obedient to Him as He calls us to do? Easter isn't over because there are stories still yet to be told. Stories that paint a beautiful picture of redemption through the works done on the cross, with the words "It is finished."
Tell your story; you never know what seed of faith you could be planting.
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